Well before I begin to pull the curtains and give you a glimpse into one of the most personal experiences of my life, I will give a disclaimer ( just in case, you stumbled upon this blog for a deep insight!). This blog is not aimed at providing the dos and don’ts of being a good parent or even how to become a parent (to start with). (The former is going to be a long arduous personal journey while the latter – well let’s just assume you know the answer to that). I decided to write this blog solely to share my experiences of being a first time mom (it is a big deal, trust me!). For those who are already sailing in the same boat would know, it is one area where no prior knowledge is handy. The only thing that helps you sail through successfully are your motherly instincts (bold and underlined). I am hoping that my experience will resonate with all the mothers.
My first hand experience of the journey began on 14th April 2018 ( Yes I am gifted with the memory of an elephant), the date I took my pregnancy test. My husband and I were thrilled to see those two lines flashing on the stick. We were elated beyond words, not to mention more than relieved.Relieved because our parents would finally stop nagging us for starting a family, or so we thought.
First Information Report (forgive the title – my father and husband are both lawyers)
You make the first phone call to the parents and from then on pour the congratulatory messages. We all can relate to the messages sounding like the pat on our backs for we are carrying forward the legacy and finally getting that validation, for our role in the evolution of life has become significant (Yay! See Darwin we survived and were fit enough to (re)produce another one too!). The over cautious mothers directed us strictly to not let the news out until the third month. I sometimes wonder why we do that but back then I didn’t question ( too high to get into the technicalities!). Taking cue from the previous occasions when our mothers and their superstitions have been spot on we decided to oblige them by adhering to rule number one and sushhhhed!!
The next daunting task ahead of us was finding “the gynaeclogist” ( I will suggest to make sure this is well researched!). We had been living in Noida for less than a year and never did we explore the maternity care options around us . We were new to the society and we could not tell anyone (remember rule one). This is when we decided to let go of the old school way of word of mouth doctor and submitted to technology Gods to save us. Thank you Google!
My husband and I had two criteria for selecting a doctor, one was a hospital which was in close proximity to our house. This is mostly because I always had visuals of movies where the heavily pregnant mother searing in pain is rushed to the hospital amidst heavy rain. As dramatic as the movies made it look, I did not want that! I wanted my ride to not be more than 10 minutes. The second criteria was a doctor who generally sits in the evening because we both were working 9 to 5 (this is how the baby begins to fit in your life). Practo assisted us and we zeroed in on a doctor after much deliberation.
The first visit to the gynae was an experience in its own kind. While you both are seated to be called in, our minds were racing with questions we would be asked ( I was recalling my college days and the wait to be called in for the viva). We wondered what if this was a wrong prediction and my engineering mind gave way to all the possibilities of false positive or true negative and more. Anxiety and a feeling of unknown gripped us when we finally went inside. This was probably the second time my husband and I agreed on something peacefully, the first was when we went to shop and had a difference of opinion on everything I laid my hands except a spoon stand which both of us felt was needed in the house (new Couple goals I’d say).
Once we were done with usual questionnaire from the doctor and after getting answers to our over inquisitiveness we headed out with a sense of preparedness.Ladies remember, the doctor will mainly be interested to know about your next date of monthly cycle (to calculate the date , baby will arrive, your due date), if you are taking medications ( to keep note of your allergies) and your past pregnancy record if any. After that first meeting,I realized that feeling of joy was most unique and surreal and might not be felt in the same scale by both of us again in our lives. We were prescribed some tests and the customary drill for the next nine months (the long road road ahead) finally took off.
Gratitude to the Lord for making us see this day and how we were going to change as a couple (no bets on this point) . When you are a newly married couple, the world around you is dreamy and shimmering with positivity. The possibility of knowing that somebody has your back makes both of you secure. The world around you ceases to exist (matter less) and you rejoice in exploring the ‘us’ in your relationship. There are high hopes and the strength of love binds you . You make every effort possible to present the best version of yourself to each other (sometimes over estimating yourself). As the years pass and the routine grind takes a toll on you both, a level of comfort seaps in and for the better or worse the sense of family grows on you. A good news in any marriage brings a freshness analogous to a bud popping in a plant you both potted together. A new mission to look forward to with rolled sleeves. This new venture adds to the love quotient between you two and the bonding increases manifold. Of course beyond the idyllic picture that I just painted, there are the inevitable differences but more on that later in the next blog.
Stay tuned !